Which Way?

     Have you ever had that miserable feeling of being at the crossroads of life and not knowing which way to go? In this day and age, we can get almost everything we desire by the push of a button, the click of a mouse, or a tap on our smartphones and tablets. Technology has helped humankind save a lot of time and energy in getting things done. Despite that, there is no fast track to discovering God's plan for us in our lives. There is also no 'fast forward' button to let us see how the decisions we make now affect us in the near or distant future, and if we don't like what we see, to press an 'undo' button so that we can start all over again. No, we just have to go through life, one day at a time, making decisions based on our best judgements as we go along, and hope for the best. If things turn out the way we want them to, then praise the Lord! If not, then we'll just have to deal with it. More decisions to make... and life goes on.

   
     This is life. There is no easy way to go about it. It's really frustrating to be standing at the crossroads, trying to decide which road leads us to our goals, or whether any of the roads will ever lead us there. Or if there is more than one alternative, which one will be the best choice. As if that is not difficult enough, all of them are one-way roads, no U-turns or reverses allowed.

   
     It does sound very depressing so far, right? However, in life, no matter which road we choose, it will always lead us somewhere, maybe to a place that even we do not expect, a place that is far better, though it is not our original goal. It's only when we reach there that we realise that is what we really want, and our original goal seems so insignificant now. That's how God works in our lives.

   
     Or, we may end up choosing a road which is full of bumps and potholes, where it takes sweat and tears before we can finally see the end in sight.  Though the journey might be a bit more difficult, and we may fall once in a while (or many times), we should not forget to look around us, to shift our focus from the challenges that lie ahead, and try to find the little blessings that God has scattered along the way. If we just pay enough attention, we may spot the beautiful little flower at the side of the road, or see a butterfly flutter past on its colourful wings, or hear a bird chirping its sweet melodies up on a tree. Again, God's way of helping us through even our darkest moments.

   
     Not too long ago, I was standing at the biggest crossroads of my life. It took me a while to choose the path I wanted to take. Until now, I still don't know if I have chosen correctly. It is definitely an uphill road, because walking along it seems to take an eternity. However, I am thankful that the journey so far has given me little joys and surprises to keep my spirits up. I only have God to thank for constantly reminding me that He is near, and wherever God is, peace, joy and love follow. No matter where I end up, I can trust Him to guide me, even if I need to choose a new path to move on.

   
     In the meantime, I'll just concentrate on putting one foot in front of another, listen to the voice of my heart, pray to God and trust that He has my best interest at heart.

Those Exam Papers...

     Today is the 6th day of the mid-year school holidays already! Time really flies... in fact, I think it's travelling on rocket fuel nowadays judging by the speed it seems to be going. Which means there are still 13 lesson-free, dateline-free, chaos-free days left for me to enjoy. Enjoy... now I'm not too sure if that's the word I should use here. You see, school holidays used to really mean school holidays back in those days, but now, it just means that you get to do your work at home instead of slogging it out at school. Students are given tonnes of holiday homework to complete, and teachers have stacks of mid-year exam papers to mark. No wonder teachers still get paid during the holidays!

 
      Teachers who teach subjects which only have objective-type questions for exams are lucky. They get to finish marking their papers very early on, probably even before the holidays starts, record the marks, and they are all set to have a stress-free holiday. This is why I envy my colleague, a Geography teacher, who goes on vacation overseas every holiday while her colleagues (like me) have to sit at home filling exam papers with red ink. Well, as they say, life is unfair...

   
     I think language teachers (like me, again, thank you) are the worst hit when it comes to marking papers. We have to read essays upon essays of students' writings, and after considering the quality of content and the accuracy of grammar, award a score that reflects their language proficiency as accurately as possible. It would be really simple to just grade an essay A, B, C, D or E, but to give a specific score to it is not an easy thing to do. And the worst thing is, no matter how badly an essay is written, we still have to read it word for word, from beginning till the end. You can imagine how I feel after reading some 50 essays over the past two days, each of them seemingly bent on massacring the English language with each merciless stroke of the pen. I'm surprised I didn't suffer a stroke myself after going through the agony!  

   
     However, the whole ordeal is not without its benefits. Making sure that I finish marking on time and not overstress myself forces me to keep to a schedule, which trains my self-discipline. This is good for me considering that I tend to take things too easy when given the chance. Now, I have learnt a trick to motivate myself whenever I feel lazy and want to procrastinate -- to focus on how good I feel when I finally finish marking everything. So, the whole process of marking actually helped me to be more positive-thinking in life: when faced with any obstacle, just focus on the reward at the end of the journey. Last but not least, it teaches me patience. At times, I really feel like strangling a particular student for making silly grammar mistakes, especially grammar points that I have repeated countless times during lessons, but I have to remind myself to keep cool so that my marking will not be affected by my mood. Note to self: repeat the grammar point in class for at least 5 more times, or until the students can repeat it in their dreams, whichever comes first.

   
     Someone once told me: there is a reason for everything. So, no matter how bad things look, there is always a silver lining. Just God's way of helping us grow stronger. That's why whenever I feel like complaining, I'll keep on reminding myself to look at the brighter side of things. Life will be easier and happier that way. And on that note, I'll end my ramblings here, go to bed and wake up fresh the next day for another dose of 50 essays. God bless us all... especially language teachers everywhere.