Looking Back at 2014

     The year of 2014 is coming to an end, and with it, comes again the time of reflection and recollection of our achievements, growth and of course, the failures and disappointments that we have experienced for the past 360-odd days. I prefer to focus on the good and memorable events in life, rather than to dwell on the negatives, as these only serve to stifle and pull us down.

     For me, 2014 has been an extremely busy year, both at work and in my personal life. Or is it my subconscious desire to keep myself busy that is making my to-do list nighmarishly long? Hmm... maybe I should re-condition my mind to picture more relaxing scenes more often, like watching sunsets at the beach while lying comfortably in a hammock under a coconut tree and sipping a glass (or maybe several glasses) of cold lemonade, or lying on my bed, tucked in warmly under a blanket and reading a novel on a cold, rainy day, or taking a leisurely walk in the countryside with the invigoratingly cool breeze brushing against my face... 

     But I digress. In my entire career life spanning 11 years so far, work has never been this challenging for me. I think I shall name this year as The Year I Could Have Gone Crazy At Work. As I was appointed the Head of the English panel in school, I had had my work cut out for me since January. Managing meetings, delegating tasks, organising English competitions, defusing 'time-bombs' (i.e. avoiding potential crises among the English teachers)... all these had to be done alongside my teaching duties (i.e. preparing lessons, collecting and marking homework, setting and marking exam papers) and other administrative duties that cropped up from time to time.

     But like I said earlier on, I shall focus on the positive side of things. Well, what have I gained from running around school like a headless chicken all year round? One thing is for sure, I have learnt the importance of time management. With everything screaming for my attention all at once, I learned to stay calm and focus on the most urgent task at hand. Deadlines must be kept. In trying to maintain the peace in my panel, I learned to be patient, sensitive and tactful in my words and actions. One wrong word or decision might start a crisis which requires more damage control from, who else, me. 

     In the midst of all the 'excitement' in school, my personal life has also become more exciting with the purchase of a new house. So needless to say, more decisions had to be made. Furnishing an empty house with bare walls into a cozy home of your dreams is definitely something that requires a lot of thought. So, I took my time to decide on the concept I wanted for my house, design the layout of the rooms, buy the right furniture and decor, choosing the colours of the walls, adding security features like grills and autogate, etc, etc. And from the whole experience, I have learnt to be prudent with my money, as so much had been invested into the house that I needed to watch my spending on the remainder of my savings, so that I don't end up with a nice house to stay but no food to eat. 

     All in all, the only relaxing period that I managed to get began only last week. With the school year ended and my house almost ready for moving in, I can take a break and allow my mind and body to recover from all the stress. Speaking of which, it is time for my afternoon nap now, so ciao!

       

My Merdeka Wish List

     On 31st August 1957, Malaysians of all races and from all walks of life gathered at Stadium Merdeka, or in front of televisions and radios, waiting to hear our nation's founding father, the late Tunku Abdul Rahman, cry out jubilantly, "Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!" The tiny nation of Malaya had finally gained its independence through peaceful negotiations with the British government. Everyone had high hopes for the future, feeling proud that we had the right to govern the land which we call our home.

    Today, on 31st August 2014, we celebrate Malaysia's 57th year of independence. Throughout these years, the country has been through its fair share of ups and downs. It has weathered the storms of racial riots, economic crises, political instability and national tragedies, testing the unity and resolve of all Malaysians to stay strong and be there for one another, regardless of race or religion. We have also basked in the collective glory of our nation's achievements, such as winning the Thomas Cup in 1992, hosting the Commonwealth Games in 1998, building the KL Tower and Petronas Twin Towers and being among the Top 10 tourist destinations in the world. 

     As a nation, we have achieved so much. Indeed, there are many things to be thankful for in this beautiful land of blessings. However, recent years have seen Malaysia slip further and further away from achieving our Malaysian dream of being a united and progressive nation, enjoying peace and harmony alongside economic success through a just society and matured democracy, as envisioned in our Vision 2020.

     Just as our forefathers in 1957, I believe all Malaysians also have high hopes for Malaysia. In our own small ways, we are trying to make a difference. We are trying to protect our beloved country from being destroyed by irresponsible parties who seek only to fulfill their own agendas, instead of putting the interests of the country before everything else. Therefore, I have compiled a wish list which I hope will come true for Malaysia one day.

      1. Our leaders govern the country by putting the needs of the country before their personal gains

      2. Malaysians of various races can accept one another and embrace our differences as a unique characteristic of our country

      3. Malaysians from every religion have the freedom to celebrate their faith in the manner they see fit, as stipulated in the Constitution

      4. Corrupt leaders, members of civil authorities should be dealt with swiftly and severely punished for misusing the trust given by the             public to hold their office.

      5. All Malaysians are treated as equals and given fair opportunities in all aspects of life.

      6. Developments in the country benefit all Malaysians.

      7. An education system that gives equal opportunity for all races to excel, and is based on meritocracy.  

      8. Malaysians value peace, harmony and mutual respect above all else, and speak up against parties who express extremist views and            seek to divide the nation to pursue their own selfish agendas.

     I hope that one day, all Malaysians can hold our heads up high and proudly declare that we are MALAYSIAN. Happy 57th Merdeka, Malaysia!

Where's My Phone?!

     I had the biggest scare of my life today. I lost my smartphone. It is one of those things that the modern generation has grown so attached to, that losing it is like having part of your life taken away from you. And why not? A smartphone is such a brilliant device that it seems to find its way into every part of our lives. We use it not just to make or receive calls, but also as a camera, music player, radio, internet browser, game station, personal organiser, and even alarm clock! With the countless apps available for downloading, the smartphone can be even 'smarter', performing many more functions.

     So, you can imagine my devastation when I realised my smartphone was not in my backpack, where I remembered was the last place I had put it in. The worst case scenario came to mind. All those data stored in my phone: contact numbers, vital information contained in text messages... they could be gone forever, bringing a huge impact on my personal and work life. Instinctively, I tried as hard as I could to retrace my day, hoping to remember a point in time when I could have taken out the phone or where it could have possibly been misplaced. Calling my phone was useless as I had put it in silent mode earlier on before the start of a meeting. My search efforts proved to be futile. I returned to my hotel room where I was staying during the course of the 4-day meeting, praying hard that I would still get it back somehow.

     After dinner at the hotel coffeehouse, I decided to search the meeting room again. I concluded that it was the most likely place that I might have lost my phone, after mentally retracing my steps. I searched more carefully under the table, and there it was, lying under a chair! It was the chair next to where I was sitting during the meeting, and like all chairs in the room, it was draped with a cover which reached to the floor, as how banquet chairs look. Somehow, I did not spot the phone in my first search, no doubt due to my panic-induced hastiness. It must have slipped out from my backpack as I was busy putting my things back into the bag at the end of the meeting.  

     For three hours, my phone had been lying under the chair. I am just thankful that it was not left out in the open where it would have been stolen sooner than you can say "Samsung smartphone". One thing is certain -- I will take very good care of it in future, so that history does not repeat itself. 

      

A Sad Day for Malaysia

     10 days ago, on 17 July 2014, in the early hours of the morning, Malaysians woke up to heartbreaking news -- Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 was shot down in Eastern Ukraine, all 298 people on board perished, no survivors. This is possibly the most devastating news the nation had heard since the mystery of flight MH370, which went missing from radars en route to Beijing, and was suspected to have crashed into the southern region of the Indian Ocean.

   
     Two unfortunate mishaps in 4 months. Same airline. The odds of that happening must have been one in a million! And yet, it had happened. It was a day when Malaysians found themselves shaking their heads in disbelief, wondering why such misfortune befell them, even as they mourned for the many innocent lives that were taken away so abruptly.

     I remember when I first heard the news. It was around 6.50am, and I was on my way to work. I decided to turn on the radio, and after a few minutes of advertisements or songs (I can't be sure), an announcer's voice came on, speaking in a solemn tone: "We at Mix FM offer our heartfelt condolences..." Having heard this line being played countless times before during the days after the disappearance of MH370, my mind instinctively began to complete the second half of the sentence "...to the family and friends of those onboard MH370", only this time, the announcer said "MH17" instead. I was confused for a second or two, wondering if he had made a mistake, or if I had heard wrongly, when it slowly dawned on me that it might have been another plane crash! My heart immediately sank... "Oh no, not again!" I whispered to myself, hoping against hope that there had been a mistake somewhere. 5 minutes later, the same sombre announcement was being played again, and this time, there was no mistaking it. It was MH17. Then, the 7 o'clock news came on with details of the crash.

     By the time I reached school, everyone was talking about it. We felt sad for MAS, as the already struggling airline had suffered huge losses due to MH370, not to mention international criticism for their poor handling of the disaster, and now, another major crisis. My heart went out to them, and the many Malaysians who died in the crash. Later in the evening, my sorrow entered a whole new level when I received news that someone I knew was on that ill-fated plane. It was my ex-university coursemate, JC Ng Shi Ing. I had not met her since our graduation in 2003, but we had shared a huge part of our 4 years together as undergraduates in university, not just attending classes together, but even staying as neighbours in the same hostel in our first year. So naturally, the MH17 disaster became personal for me, and many of my ex-coursemates. Someone we knew died in the crash, together with her sister and her one-year-old son, Benjamin.

   
     It was a day when the whole of Malaysia plunged into mourning, especially when the plane, and everyone in it, was just a victim of circumstances, of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The plane was in tiptop condition, the weather was fine, the pilots followed flight protocols, flying above restricted Ukrainian airspace, and yet, was still shot down by a missile. The people on board had become collateral damage of a war which did not concern them. But, there is nothing we can say nor do that can bring them back. I only hope that somehow, the horror of this disaster can open the eyes of the world to the cruelty of war, and inspire a stronger determination to foster peace, harmony and goodwill among humankind. RIP, crew and passengers of MH17, may God bless your souls.

     

Which Way?

     Have you ever had that miserable feeling of being at the crossroads of life and not knowing which way to go? In this day and age, we can get almost everything we desire by the push of a button, the click of a mouse, or a tap on our smartphones and tablets. Technology has helped humankind save a lot of time and energy in getting things done. Despite that, there is no fast track to discovering God's plan for us in our lives. There is also no 'fast forward' button to let us see how the decisions we make now affect us in the near or distant future, and if we don't like what we see, to press an 'undo' button so that we can start all over again. No, we just have to go through life, one day at a time, making decisions based on our best judgements as we go along, and hope for the best. If things turn out the way we want them to, then praise the Lord! If not, then we'll just have to deal with it. More decisions to make... and life goes on.

   
     This is life. There is no easy way to go about it. It's really frustrating to be standing at the crossroads, trying to decide which road leads us to our goals, or whether any of the roads will ever lead us there. Or if there is more than one alternative, which one will be the best choice. As if that is not difficult enough, all of them are one-way roads, no U-turns or reverses allowed.

   
     It does sound very depressing so far, right? However, in life, no matter which road we choose, it will always lead us somewhere, maybe to a place that even we do not expect, a place that is far better, though it is not our original goal. It's only when we reach there that we realise that is what we really want, and our original goal seems so insignificant now. That's how God works in our lives.

   
     Or, we may end up choosing a road which is full of bumps and potholes, where it takes sweat and tears before we can finally see the end in sight.  Though the journey might be a bit more difficult, and we may fall once in a while (or many times), we should not forget to look around us, to shift our focus from the challenges that lie ahead, and try to find the little blessings that God has scattered along the way. If we just pay enough attention, we may spot the beautiful little flower at the side of the road, or see a butterfly flutter past on its colourful wings, or hear a bird chirping its sweet melodies up on a tree. Again, God's way of helping us through even our darkest moments.

   
     Not too long ago, I was standing at the biggest crossroads of my life. It took me a while to choose the path I wanted to take. Until now, I still don't know if I have chosen correctly. It is definitely an uphill road, because walking along it seems to take an eternity. However, I am thankful that the journey so far has given me little joys and surprises to keep my spirits up. I only have God to thank for constantly reminding me that He is near, and wherever God is, peace, joy and love follow. No matter where I end up, I can trust Him to guide me, even if I need to choose a new path to move on.

   
     In the meantime, I'll just concentrate on putting one foot in front of another, listen to the voice of my heart, pray to God and trust that He has my best interest at heart.

Those Exam Papers...

     Today is the 6th day of the mid-year school holidays already! Time really flies... in fact, I think it's travelling on rocket fuel nowadays judging by the speed it seems to be going. Which means there are still 13 lesson-free, dateline-free, chaos-free days left for me to enjoy. Enjoy... now I'm not too sure if that's the word I should use here. You see, school holidays used to really mean school holidays back in those days, but now, it just means that you get to do your work at home instead of slogging it out at school. Students are given tonnes of holiday homework to complete, and teachers have stacks of mid-year exam papers to mark. No wonder teachers still get paid during the holidays!

 
      Teachers who teach subjects which only have objective-type questions for exams are lucky. They get to finish marking their papers very early on, probably even before the holidays starts, record the marks, and they are all set to have a stress-free holiday. This is why I envy my colleague, a Geography teacher, who goes on vacation overseas every holiday while her colleagues (like me) have to sit at home filling exam papers with red ink. Well, as they say, life is unfair...

   
     I think language teachers (like me, again, thank you) are the worst hit when it comes to marking papers. We have to read essays upon essays of students' writings, and after considering the quality of content and the accuracy of grammar, award a score that reflects their language proficiency as accurately as possible. It would be really simple to just grade an essay A, B, C, D or E, but to give a specific score to it is not an easy thing to do. And the worst thing is, no matter how badly an essay is written, we still have to read it word for word, from beginning till the end. You can imagine how I feel after reading some 50 essays over the past two days, each of them seemingly bent on massacring the English language with each merciless stroke of the pen. I'm surprised I didn't suffer a stroke myself after going through the agony!  

   
     However, the whole ordeal is not without its benefits. Making sure that I finish marking on time and not overstress myself forces me to keep to a schedule, which trains my self-discipline. This is good for me considering that I tend to take things too easy when given the chance. Now, I have learnt a trick to motivate myself whenever I feel lazy and want to procrastinate -- to focus on how good I feel when I finally finish marking everything. So, the whole process of marking actually helped me to be more positive-thinking in life: when faced with any obstacle, just focus on the reward at the end of the journey. Last but not least, it teaches me patience. At times, I really feel like strangling a particular student for making silly grammar mistakes, especially grammar points that I have repeated countless times during lessons, but I have to remind myself to keep cool so that my marking will not be affected by my mood. Note to self: repeat the grammar point in class for at least 5 more times, or until the students can repeat it in their dreams, whichever comes first.

   
     Someone once told me: there is a reason for everything. So, no matter how bad things look, there is always a silver lining. Just God's way of helping us grow stronger. That's why whenever I feel like complaining, I'll keep on reminding myself to look at the brighter side of things. Life will be easier and happier that way. And on that note, I'll end my ramblings here, go to bed and wake up fresh the next day for another dose of 50 essays. God bless us all... especially language teachers everywhere. 

Waiting for my Hubby

     I have not felt this miserable for a very long time already. Today, I had to temporarily part with something which is extremely precious to me. It has been with me for the past 8 years, seeing me through my days, whether they were happy or sad, boring or exhilarating, mundane or extraordinary. It has been my constant companion as I muse about life and all its ups and downs, always silent but its presence appreciated. I am, of course, talking about my car.

   
      A Korean designed compact car, my Naza Sutera was the first car I have ever owned. Paying off the car loan took 5 years, but all of it was my own hard-earned salary. Being a new model at that time, it was rather popular among car buyers looking for a compact yet practical car. Little did I know that I had to spend so much later on for maintenance and spare parts replacements, so much so that I was quite sure I would buy a new car soon.

   
     However, the longer I drove the car, the more attached I felt towards it. After all, being a person who loves driving, I have driven this car from one end of Malaysia to the next, even driving it across the border to Singapore! It has never failed to bring me to my destination, not even once. This, coupled with the familiarity and comfort it provides me, is the reason why I have long since changed my mind about selling it off for a brand new car. Sure, it looks a bit worn, but it's my own dear Hubby!

   
     Early this morning, I sent my car to my mechanic, Mr. Tan, to fix a problem with my radiator. He had detected the problem earlier on, but since I had to drive it to work, he had advised me to bring it in as soon as I got my holidays. It turns out that the whole repair would take around a week to complete! 

   
     To cut the story short, I feel like I have just lost my pair of legs. Here I am with plans on places to go during the holidays, driving my trusty car all over Ipoh, and the next thing I know, I'm left stranded at home. Sure, I can drive my mother's car, but that would mean working around her schedule as well. Not to mention that I don't have much affection for it... Oh well, at least when I get this radiator problem fixed, I won't suffer the fate of being stranded on the road when I actually need to get to somewhere. Prevention is better than cure, right? Okay, I'll start crossing out the dates on my calendar, till the day when I can meet my Hubby again! ;)   

Rain - Music to My Ears

     It's been raining today for as long as I can remember, and that's really saying something, given that it's almost 2 a.m. now. In fact, it's been raining quite a bit lately, which of course, is a refreshing respite after a record-breaking dry spell all Malaysians had been put through just recently. 3 months of clear skies and hot sun is too much for even Malaysians to bear. Although the weather changed for the better almost a month ago, I believe the memory of it is still fresh on everybody's mind, especially Selangoreans who had to put up with water rationing for a month or so as the reservoirs dried up. Maybe that is why nobody is complaining yet about rains which come like clockwork every day in the evenings nowadays.

     I, for one, enjoy the rain. Not when I'm caught in it and get drenched to my bones by it, of course. People may think I'm weird, but I like driving in the rain, no matter how heavy the rain gets, for the simple reason that I enjoy the challenge, and that the heavier the downpour, the more dirt it washes off my car! When I'm not on the move, I like being cosy at home, cuddled up in my bed or reading a novel, while listening to the pitter-patter of rain on the roof and windows, and taking in the sweet smell of wet soil. If it rains in the early morning, well, fat chance of seeing me up and about until at least a couple of hours later than usual!

     I feel joyful whenever it rains. If it's a thunderstorm, I feel grateful that I'm in the comfort of my home or car, being protected from the raging storm outside. If it's a drizzle, I thank God for the coolness it brings, and also the calming effect that I experience whenever I hear the sound of raindrops falling onto the ground. I have a feeling that the trees and flowers are also thankful for the nourishment as well.  For me, the rain is a symbol of hope, change and newness of life. It washes away impurities and encourages growth. It is the essence of life. God's gift to humankind indeed.

     It's past 2 a.m. now, and the rain has finally stopped, leaving behind the cool air as evidence of its presence. Let's see if it comes again tomorrow. I certainly hope so.